Don’t Trust the Process

Don't Trust the Process

I have a pet peeve.

I belong to a whole host of Facebook groups. What can I say, it’s nice to be able to socialize without leaving the house. And the fact that there is at least one thing in common with the members is reassuring to this introvert.

If there’s one statement that pops up over and over in these groups, whether it be for low carbohydrate living or working out, it’s this: trust the process. Occasionally, someone struggling will post that they’re not seeing results and the answer they get is the same: trust the process.

Don’t Trust the Process

I don’t like getting or giving out this answer. You might as well tell me to shut up, sit down and stop asking questions. And that makes my blood boil.

Don’t get me wrong. I think the motivation behind this retort is valid. People who “trust the process” are on to something. But here’s the thing: they trust the process because it has worked for them. In other words, they have seen results.

Take homeschooling for instance. If you are working hard at it and not seeing any positive benefits, what should you do? Don’t let people tell you it will work itself out, that you should trust the process.

Do This Instead

Instead of trying to summon up the Stoicism of Marcus Aurelius, begin to set some realistic goals. If the word “goals” sounds too intimidating, call them markers. Get an idea of where you are and where you would like to be, or in this case, where you would like your child to be.

These markers may not all be academic. Mood, motivation, desire to learn, independence, willingness to do things – these can all be goals as well.

In an earlier blog post, I mentioned how having daily goals for your homeschool can help you stay on track and create a habit of discipline. But there are two kinds of discipline – one is created organically in the pursuit of a meaningful goal. The other is arbitrary and for its own sake.

Find the organic one that works for you; don’t listen to your friends. Then measure your days against that discipline, measure your results against those markers.

Don’t trust the process, chase your results.

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Author: Purva Brown

Writer / blogger at - unapologetically blending two seeming opposites.

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