The Four Tendencies (And How Knowing Them Can Benefit You)

The Four Tendencies in Homeschooling (And How They Can Benefit You)
(Part 1 of 2 on The Four Tendencies)

I had the brilliant idea one day to sign up for some 5ks a year in advance. Here’s the thing: I like running. What better way to motivate myself to run, right?

Wrong. It didn’t work.

After years of trying to figure out why the strategies that worked for other people did not work for me, I realized the answer: my tendency is that of a rebel.

The Four Tendencies

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you should take this short quiz and then make it a point to pick up Gretchen Rubin’s book The Four Tendencies. 

I have mentioned her before in another blog post about knowing your personality. That book, Better Than Beforewas incredibly helpful to me because it was the first time I came across the idea that I was one of those people who had trouble meeting internal expectations as well as external ones.

Apparently, the Rebel personality has this problem. And although it is the most rare tendency, I suspect that as a homeschooler you might be a bit of a rebel.

Know Yourself & Your Kids

The problem with the Rebel personality is that even though you want something, unless you frame it in your mind in the right way, it quickly becomes something you resist.

So as a Rebel, even if I chose homeschooling as the best choice, I can find myself resisting it. Unless… unless it’s part of my identity and personally meaningful to me every single day.

Apparently, Rebel personalities make up a large chunk of any group that see themselves as fighting the norm, so homeschoolers definitely fit the bill.

Reading the book not just helped me identify strategies to overcome my own problems, but also learn how to frame education and expectations from my children. I learned that my oldest is an Upholder, my middle one is a Questioner and the youngest is… well, a little too young to tell. For now.

Highly recommended reading! Oh, and in terms of running, I figured my way around that issue – more on that in part 2.

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Author: Purva Brown

Writer / blogger at - unapologetically blending two seeming opposites.

2 thoughts on “The Four Tendencies (And How Knowing Them Can Benefit You)”

  1. I also loved Better Than Before (I didn’t love her two previous books) and found it so helpful understanding, in particular, the idea of being a moderator or abstainer. I always thought I was a moderator, but I’ve found the best success (currently trying to loose weight after a significant gain after an intense 3 years of international moves and changes!) being an abstainer. It’s just so easy with the option not even on the table. That was HUGE for me. Never thought it’d apply. I’m looking forward to reading her next one.

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