When was the last time you heard about socializing your children? There used to be a time, from what homeschoolers who have been pioneers tell me, when that was the question on everyone’s lips.
Not so any more. We can all breathe a sigh of relief.
After all, we know what “socialization” means. In a lot of cases, it simply means peer pressure, unhealthy peer pressure at that.
But just because you are homeschooling does not mean that you are above peer pressure. Yes, I’m talking about you.
When I see what other homeschooling parents are doing, my initial reaction for far too long has not been Oh, I’m so glad that works for you but a gnawing worry about if I should be doing what their family does.
Why the second guessing?
I know what we do is right for us. I know it beyond the shadow of a doubt. Heck, I wrote a book about it! And yet, the questions nag.
Home Grown Impostor Syndrome
I’ve come to believe that this nagging doubt that I am somehow not doing this right, that other people know better, are doing better, know more and have it all together is not unique to me or to homeschooling at all.
It is, in fact, a well known phenomenon called “impostor syndrome” and affects even those who are the best in their respective fields.
Impostor syndrome is a feeling of phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement. While these people are highly motivated to achieve, they also live in fear of being ‘found out’ or exposed as frauds. – Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes
Remember that there is evidence of achievement here. That evidence is your biggest defense against feeling this way.
If, like me, you experience doubt and uncertainty in the face of wild success, remember what you’re feeling is a push to socialize in the worst sense of the word.
What you’re experiencing is peer pressure. Rise above it.