8 Skills All High School Students Should Know

This is a guest post by Scott Groza. You can find out more about Groza Learning Center here.

While most people consider high school students to be allowed ample room to become adults in the years to come, the truth is there are many important things that high school students should know that they often are not properly taught. These are a set of life skills they will need as they begin to look to the future of their lives and prepare for adulthood. While many high schools help their students with some outside life skills, few of them work on helping their students master some of the most important life skills they will need as they grow into adulthood.

As an example of some of the deficits, high school teachers often spend a great amount of time teaching children facts and improving some of their basic skills of cognoscente learning. However, one of the greatest areas that high school education can fail students is in teaching student’s comprehension skills. Certainly, life is more than facts. It is not just important for a child to memorize information or learn by watching or inputting data. Teenage kids need to learn how to assimilate the things they are reading and learning in the classroom with the world. Thus, making their newfound knowledge applicable to their life is a critical life skill. Taking in information is only as valuable as knowing what to do with the information to enhance a person’s life once it is learned. This can be vital to allowing information to be put to practical use across all scopes of their education. As an example, math can be used in shopping and cooking and sociology can be used in enhancing personal understanding and societal integration.

The second foremost life skill for teens is learning about history of the world and American history has real uses in life. So often students can live in a cloistered view that the world is simply here and now and nothing else matters. While many students think that learning American History or World History serves no important purpose for their life, being able to take the lessons from history and appreciate the many gifts that so many others have contributed to the world allows a student to learn how they too may be able to make a difference in the future of the world. Additionally, everything that is today can be placed in the context of how far we have evolved as human beings once history is learned. As an example, we know in the realm of political and public policy landscape as well as in enhancing the students’ knowledge of civic participation such as voting, knowing history is often vital to making important decisions for the future of communities, states and nations as an adult.

Another important piece of knowledge that teens need to have is practical knowledge for preparing for life on their own. These include learning about balancing a checkbook, eating nutritious foods, cooking and budgeting. When it comes to finances, oftentimes banks set up special accounts with teenagers that are known as student bank accounts that allow high school students a place to open an account without fees, and learn how to properly use a debit card and use check registers for recording transactions.

The fourth most important acquired knowledge for high school students is teaching students how to plan for their future. While many teens can think that they will have plenty of time to figure out their future, the truth is many high school students go on to be college students who drop out of because their school choice or career choice ends up being too much for them to handle or ends up being of little interest to them once they delve in further. Many high schools fall short of gearing students minds towards building their skills and gifts in ways that allow their mind to explore and define their life and career goals.

Another important life skill is building the student’s overall knowledge of life’s many cultures. In this very diverse world of people this is an essential aspect of becoming an adult. One of the reasons that being cultured is so very important is because it broadens the mind scope and a person’s coping skills when encountering the world at large. Being cultured elevates the person’s self-respect and their respect for others. When it comes to learning more about appreciation for culture, students can become much more well-rounded and interested in developing their own cultural gifts when they see how enhanced life is through the cultures of the world. In addition, helping teenage students learn about culture and the arts teaches teens about global appreciation, diversity and enhances their ability to find good in the world through being creative and appreciating the creativity of others.

The last set of skills are three skill sets in one category. While each is a distinct skill in and of themselves they fall into one category. Of all the levels of knowledge that students obtain in school, this set of skills is the most imperative skill set for students to acquire to keep them mentally
healthy throughout their lives.

These skills fall under the category known as emotional quotient or EQ skills. These are the skills of self-control, self-awareness, self-growth. The skill of self-control teaches students how to build their stamina in the realm of emotional situations. This includes work relations, personal relations and in dealing with the public at large. The skill of self-awareness is a skill that keeps the student aware of their own emotions, thoughts and feelings and teaches them how to process experiences to grow and learn and become a better person.

Lastly, is the skill of self-growth enhancement. As a student becomes an adult there is a whole series of responsibilities that they must be able to handle as an adult that they never needed to worry as much about in their youth. But as they become more adept and mature they too must be prepared to cope with the world in a greater spectrum. This is done by learning to handle rejection and loss in healthy ways so that the person can move beyond their difficulties and seek solutions to their everyday problems and life circumstances.

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Against Overcomplication: Keep Teaching Simple

We have an awkwardly designed kitchen from the 50s. At least, that’s how it seems to us who live in the 21st century. I have to turn around 180 degrees to go from the stove to the counter.

There is very little that is streamlined. Often, my husband will watch my awkward attempts at serving dinner and bring the pot of food to the counter to fix things.

Against Overcomplication

Why do I mention my kitchen habits? For the simple reason that my clumsy cooking habits, no doubt created by my kitchen, often find an echo in some odd teaching habits I see around me.

I have already written about how some will pick a curriculum just because it’s difficult. But here I want to write about  we tend to overcomplicate teaching some things when the truth is we need to keep it simple.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Points

Simplification is the essence of teaching. Einstein said, “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” The problem is sometimes we do – we do understand it. But we want to explain it four different ways to make sure they understand it.

I suggest we stop. Pick one way that you think is easiest and explain it. If, and only if, it doesn’t make sense that way, try another.

This is especially true in math. But it is equally true in history.

In our Common Core culture, we rush to give multiple ways of solving math problems, multiple narratives of history and a thousand perspectives on what happened, depending on where you were standing.

This is often unnecessary and complicates things.

Keep it Simple

Especially in the younger years, when we’re dealing with the grammar stage, keep it simple. The time for nuance and multiple perspectives will come with the logic and especially in the rhetoric stage.

Just stick with the facts for now, and keep it simple. If something can be learned through play or simple concepts, don’t rush to make it academic.

In other words, if it works, leave it alone. Keep teaching as simple as it can be and no simpler.

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Rituals and Habits in Homeschooling

How you drink your tea or coffee in the morning might tell you more about your homeschooling habits than you think.

What are your habits?

I ask that as a genuine question, not to be flippant. A few weeks ago, my husband and I decided to give up drinking coffee. We were trying to solve some inflammation issues and thought we’d see if giving up coffee resolved them. (As an aside, they didn’t and we were miserable, so we’re back on our favorite bitter beverage.)

While we were experimenting with tea, however, I noticed two things about us. These two things were central to how we functioned as a family and so they directed everything including our homeschooling, especially our homeschooling.

Habits Shape your Homeschool

… or they should anyway. In my new, upcoming book Create Your Own CurriculumI mention how it is very important to consider the little rituals, daily habits and personality of your family. This is because homeschooling is extremely personal and unique to every family

Standardized education in public schools has led people to think that they can replicate and copy systems, structures and methods of teaching. We can not. It is our personalities that are the most important thing in our homeschool.

What our Family Does Might Not Work For You

So how do you drink your morning beverage? This is a ritual for many, including me.  Zak Slayback has a very interesting article about how and why he likes to spend ten minutes every morning making coffee. Now that would never be me. I don’t like spending much time on it. I like the taste of it but I don’t care for the ceremony of it.

It’s the same with tea. I have friends who love the ceremony of it. They adore the tea infusers and store ten different kinds of tea in glass jars. They use tea kettles. I use tea bags and heat my water in the microwave oven.

It’s the same with our homeschooling for the most part. I don’t stand on ceremony. I take a pretty practical approach to it. As I have written before, as long as the children are learning, I don’t care how they learn. I don’t care about the ceremony of schooling if they’re getting an education.

So spend some time thinking about your homeschooling habits and those of your family. You might find that they give you clues to how best structure your efforts at education.

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Homeschoolers Are Not Above Peer Pressure

When was the last time you heard about socializing your children? There used to be a time, from what homeschoolers who have been pioneers tell me, when that was the question on everyone’s lips.

Not so any more. We can all breathe a sigh of relief.

After all, we know what “socialization” means. In a lot of cases, it simply means peer pressure, unhealthy peer pressure at that.

But just because you are homeschooling does not mean that you are above peer pressure. Yes, I’m talking about you.

A Confession

When I see what other homeschooling parents are doing, my initial reaction for far too long has not been Oh, I’m so glad that works for you but a gnawing worry about if I should be doing what their family does.

Why the second guessing?

I know what we do is right for us. I know it beyond the shadow of a doubt. Heck, I wrote a book about it! And yet, the questions nag.

Home Grown Impostor Syndrome

I’ve come to believe that this nagging doubt that I am somehow not doing this right, that other people know better, are doing better, know more and have it all together is not unique to me or to homeschooling at all.

It is, in fact, a well known phenomenon called “impostor syndrome” and affects even those who are the best in their respective fields.

Impostor syndrome is a feeling of phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement. While these people are highly motivated to achieve, they also live in fear of being ‘found out’ or exposed as frauds. – Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes

Remember that there is evidence of achievement here. That evidence is your biggest defense against feeling this way.

And then…

If, like me, you experience doubt and uncertainty in the face of wild success, remember what you’re feeling is a push to socialize in the worst sense of the word.

What you’re experiencing is peer pressure. Rise above it.

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How to Homeschool in a Small House

Before we started homeschooling, I made the mistake of wandering innocently onto some Pinterest boards for ideas. I say “mistake” because what I saw was immediately overwhelming. I saw dedicated school rooms! Imagine that … and keep imagining it, because for our little 1000 square foot house, it was just not going to happen. How in the world was I going to homeschool in our small house?

We have three bedrooms – the boys’ room, the girl’s room and our bedroom. Beyond that, there’s bathroom (a small one) and a dining area and living room.

Where in the world was my dedicated school room going to be with the pretty lettering on the walls? And the maps? And the kids’ art work?

I was saddened. Perhaps you are, too. So in this post, I’m going to talk about what you do not need and what you do need when it comes to being able to homeschool in a small house.

You do not need a chalkboard

The oddest thing about making the decision to homeschool is that most people think they need a chalkboard. Or a dry erase board. I did, too. I think the idea of school that looks like a classroom is something so deeply ingrained in our minds that we can’t conceive of another way. So here it is: you don’t need one. Use paper. 

The advantage of homeschooling after all, is that you will be working one on one with your children. Use a pad of paper to explain a problem. Alternatively, if you really like dry erase boards, you can get a small one to hold.

I still much prefer paper.

You do not need a dedicated school room

If you have one, great, but you don’t need one. There is absolutely no need for a school room or a play room for your children.

Yes, it’s nice to be able to put all the “school work” in one room and yes it’s fantastic to be able to get all the toys put away out of sight in the evenings, but no, you don’t need a separate room for that.

“School” tends to spill out into real life anyway, especially if you’re a classical unschooler. So why bother trying to contain it in one room?

Writing? Use the dining table. Reading? Use the couch. Memorizing? Use the backyard or patio. Or the car.

Things You Do Need

A dining table that is clear of things

Most people have a dining table with things on it. At least a table cloth. It’s a good idea to take some time to clear clutter before you begin homeschooling because it tends to collect.

Keeping a small house clear of clutter is the single best thing you can do for your homeschooling success.

Alternatively, a desk and a chair in the kids’ rooms where they can sit and write, read or do Lego projects could work as well.

A dedicated space or closet to store school supplies and books

We have a closet that my husband has built shelves in. In a small house, shelves are a life saver.

In the closet however, we keep only school-related things. Nothing else. It is accessible to the children and it is cleared out regularly. Anything that we are done using gets sold or given away or even thrown away. We do not store more than necessary.

A closet also serves us better than say, shelves, because at the end of the day I can put things away and shut the door. Because I am here all day long, in the middle of the toys and books, it’s nice to be able to close it when I stop working.

A couch

Most of our sit down work happens at the dining table, but we do the occasional read aloud on the couch. (I’ve been reading aloud after lunch, so we like to just hang out at the table and listen.)

Most of the children’s reading is also done on the couch and in their own beds. All this to say that if you are in love with reading nooks and can afford to have them in your home, that’s great. But if you can not, you’re not robbing your kids of a lifetime of reading. If my children can read hanging upside down from two chairs, they can read in a brightly lit open living room.

Don’t stress it.

So don’t let the size of your home stop you from taking on the adventure of a lifetime and giving your family the gift of homeschooling. We have a small house and we do just fine.

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Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Ineptitude

I recently quoted Nancy Pearcey on my Facebook wall. The quote went something like this.

Homeschoolers are the ultimate do-it-yourselfers. They are self-motivated and self-directed, independent-minded and creative. They are not content to turn their education of their children over to the government.

One of my readers who also happened to be an old friend mentioned under it that she also saw homeschoolers as incredibly driven because this is no small enterprise we undertake. Another friend objected. Not necessarily, she wisely pointed out, adding in her characteristic way, You can be lame and still homeschool and you’d still do better than sending your kids to the government run mills.

In my mind, they were both right. I have seen homeschoolers who are organized, driven and make teaching their children their job, one that takes up all their time and attention and one they do exceptionally well.

On the other hand, I have also met homeschooling parents who are more hands off, but take their children with them, teach them whatever they know, believe simply in being involved in their lives.

Both kinds of homeschoolers do just fine. And yes, both are better than assembly line government run public schools.

An Assembly Line

I recently went to get a new car key made for our family van we bought last year. I couldn’t help but notice how unable or unwilling the people who worked at the dealership were to do things differently.

Would I like a free car inspection?

No, thank you, I’m just here for a new key.

Well, we do have to check tires. It’s the law.

Fine, but nothing else. I’m just here for the key. I have other things to do as well.

And even after all that, the car somehow ended up at the vacuuming and cleaning place. After waiting for over an hour, I inquired, complained and finally was able to leave. Not before paying for the key and upsetting the people working there.

Why were they upset, you ask. They were angry because I refused to be part of their assembly line. Because I wouldn’t passively accept what they thought they needed to do to my car.

Because, as the customer, silly me, I thought I was supposed to be in the driver’s seat.

Customization is Key

What is true of good customer service is true of education.

Your children are not supposed to be carbon copies of another. They are not to move from station to station, getting inspections along the way; they are not supposed to walk lock step with their peers.

They are unique people. They are to be the best and fullest version of themselves.

Unfortunately, the only way to get that education in a system that is developed for an assembly line is to anger people who are part of it.

Or you can choose not to be part of it.

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Ineptitude

I was reading The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon written by Brad Stone and came across a part of the book that illustrates this perfectly. When Steve Jobs created the iPod, the writer says, Amazon’s music sales suffered. It no longer made the profits it used to by selling CDs. Music became digitalized and sales drifted to iTunes.

Did Jeff Bezos decide to then produce a cheap imitation of the iPod? Thank goodness, no.

He didn’t make another iPod because he couldn’t. Doing so would be a poor imitation of something that was, for all intents and purposes, perfect. Instead, he took an e-reader that had failed in the past, rejected by most and came up with the Kindle.

The difference in the two giants here – Bezos and Jobs – who in many ways have similar life stories – was not just in the products in they created. The difference was in their personalities that were the reason behind the products they created.

You see, Bezos loves words and arguments in the form of a narrative. He made his employees write essays instead of create PowerPoint presentations. He had this to say about why.

Full sentences are harder to write. They have verbs. The paragraphs have topic sentences. There is no way to write a six-page, narratively structured memo and not have clear thinking.

Jobs on the other hand loved music. There is no way he could have created the Kindle. That would also have been a cheap imitation.

Homeschooling is about Customization

Homeschooling then is the ultimate education and life hack. It shuns imitation. It allows families to be who they truly are, it lets children blossom and become who they are meant to be. It lets inventors tinker in their garages, readers read.

It doesn’t seek to stuff individuals into molds and send them off to the next station waiting to be vacuumed and polished and made perfect.

Even if it ruffles a few feathers along the way, homeschooling is well worth it.

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On Studying History & Fake News

I’m not one of those people bothered by what is currently referred to as “fake news.” I am not currently wringing my hands wondering what kind of a world my children will inherit and how they will ever make sense of it. That is because I love history and am deeply passionate about it.

Allow me to explain.

History tells us that from the beginning of time, people have told lies. This is nothing new.

The earliest written history is a battlefield in itself – what with Egyptians consistently trying to remove names of underappreciated pharaohs from the lineage to obliterate their names and Gilgamesh, king of Uruk, ordering a larger than life epic poem be written about himself to win over his subjects.

Fine, but these were not journalists, you say. Well, not in the sense of reporting to newspapers that got delivered to you which you read over coffee, but they did have the job of delivering important news by word of mouth, as was more common those days. It was only the influential people of the world had their own “birds” and spies to keep an eye out. It’s possible that’s how they got influential. So consider if you would feel trust the news when it came from the likes of Lord Varys. (Sorry for the Game of Thrones reference, but it makes my point perfectly.)

And this is just the beginning of written history.

Why is today considered any different? Do we think we have somehow arrived at the point where people reporting the news have become completely trustworthy?

What I Am Not Saying

Now look, I’m not arguing for lying. I’m certainly not saying that you should make stuff up, that it’s somehow good for your neighbor. Of course you shouldn’t.

I’m just arguing for some perspective.

History looks different when one is caught up in it. And people haven’t changed. This is the nature of the creature we are dealing with.

Was there ever a time that we could accept what was being reported as absolute truth? If there was, I’d like to know because I’d run out and buy textbooks from that era.

Get my drift?

History is Anecdotes

I have written before about how we study history in our home and have since refined that philosophy to include memorization of a timeline as well as Presidents’ names.

With a firm foundation on some very basic facts, we then segue into individual biographies, anecdotes and otherwise interesting trivia. Now, here’s where it can get tricky.

After the basic facts of someone’s life – place of birth, date of birth, childhood home, mother, father, sister, brother (and sometimes not even that!) all we are left with is the stuff of a life lived. And life, as we know, is messy.

But the fun, the joy in history comes from its very inability to wrap it and tie it with a clean bow.

And so we read and wonder about George Washington’s mother who often complained about her son not sending her money and Mary Todd Lincoln chasing her husband Abraham down the street with a knife. We admire Andrew Jackson fighting off his own assassin and beating him with his cane at 67 years of age when the rest of the people around him froze.

The anecdotes, the trivia, the details, and yes, even the “fake news” that may or may not be true, add color, depth and – believe it or not – truth – to history.
It adds truth because no two people saw the same event from the same perspective. They were limited in time, in space, in their cultural situation, their thinking – limited people with limited attention spans, varying levels of interest and somewhere else to go.

I’m not arguing that objective truth does not exist, mind you, just that if you’re hoping to get it from people, you had better have more than one source because what you will get will be fractured, anecdotal and always a little skewed this way or that.

Laziness or Textbooks?

Jim Gaffigan says that the news media is like that slightly annoying friend of yours who knows what’s happening and is full of “Did you know…?” “Have you heard…?” I wish more people held this view.

Because even with the mantle of supposed transparency of journalism, this is true. Cameras and the printed word can lull us into thinking that the ultimate picture of objective. But it’s not. It’s just one perspective of what actually happened.

So what is it that makes us blindly believe all news when it’s reported? Is it that we’ve been spoon-fed history through such textbooks? Is it because we’ve been so brainwashed in public school that we are used to two-dimensional cardboard character in a committee-approved politically correct history textbooks?

There’s only half a step between “if it’s there in the textbook, it must be true” to “if the newspaper says so, it must have happened.”

False information has always been around. There has never not been a need to sift through and question.

Never in the history of time or American history for that matter could you put skepticism aside and blindly accept what the magazines, rags, neighbors, newspapers, water cooler junta, or reports said. For all you knew, everything was tabloid talk.

Homeschooling, History & Current Affairs

I am a huge fan of the internet. I couldn’t be happier with access to more than one news site, more than one perspective. Give me another blogger with something to say, something to report. The more kaleidoscopic an event is in reporting, the fewer chances some one person has to tamper with it.

Does this mean the readers have to be more vigilant and weigh information? Yes, of course it does. But it’s what they shouldn’t have stopped doing in the first place.

Discernment is a skill that we value in homeschooling. It is one of the reasons why even if we use a history textbook, we only use it as a “spine” for the curriculum. It is also why we watch current events and discuss them, relating them to the past as often as we can.

If you’d like to know more about how we study history, get my book The Classical Unschooler

And if you’d like to read some fun, historical anecdotes this President’s Day, check out my listicle about my most recommended American history books.

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Love Is Where The Home(School) Is – Quotes to Inspire You On Valentine’s Day

Every year, I do this. I get caught up in the love of Valentine’s Day. It’s impossible not to. The hint of spring, warmer days, flowers in the air and all the sneezing. How can you not?

And yes, I know, I know… Valentine’s Day is supposed to be all about romantic love. But I’m still going to go ahead and do it. I’m going to make it all about education. And you know why? Because I actually love learning. Get it? Love? Learning? Ahem.

Okay, here are some quotes to inspire you.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. – Dr. Seuss

The love of learning, the sequestered nooks,
And all the sweet serenity of books. – H. W. Longfellow

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

You’ll never know everything about anything, especially something you love. – Julia Child

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference. – Elie Wiesel

Cultivate an appreciation and passion for books. I’m using passion in the fullest sense of the word: a deep, fervent emotion, a state of intense desire; an enthusiastic ardor for something or someone. – Cassandra King

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. – Lao Tzu

Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. – M. Scott Peck

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. – Robert Heinlein

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. – C. S. Lewis

Love is as love does. – M. Scott Peck

I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing. – Neil Gaiman

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – The Bible

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always. – Gandhi

Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love. – M. Scott Peck

The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater. – J. R. R. Tolkein

I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, ‘How many good things have you done in your life?’ rather he will ask, ‘How much love did you put into what you did? – Mother Teresa

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new. – Ursula K. Le Guin

Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. – M. Scott Peck

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. – James Baldwin

It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done. – Vincent Van Gogh

It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. – Agatha Christie

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. – Bertrand Russell

Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep. – Clive Barker

When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion – through the fact that for that someone (or for ourself) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile. Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful. – M. Scott Peck

Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. – C. S. Lewis

Find what you love and let it kill you. – Charles Bukowski

“How do you spell ‘love’?” – Piglet
“You don’t spell it…you feel it.” – Pooh” – A. A. Milne

It is easy to love people in memory; the hard thing is to love them when they are there in front of you. – John Updike

One word
Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
That word is love. – Sophocles

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved. – Kurt Vonnegut

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Juggling Well

I recently came across some fantastic time management advice in Michael Gelb’s book More Balls Than Hands that I thought I’d share with you. Even though it refers to juggling (and he’s not kidding – there’s an actual section at the end about how to learn real juggling) the author has some great advice for homeschoolers.


In fact, this advice can be applied to your life no matter what you do and especially if you’re a busy mom.

Read this.

James Clawson says that there are two types of people in their work styles: Project Finishers and Time Allocaters. Project Finishers can only handle one ball at a time. They’re good doers, but bad managers. Time Allocaters don’t organize their work by projects but by allotments of time spread across a wise variety of tasks.

The Time Allocation approach to work seems very much like juggling. How does one keep multiple balls in the air? And how do we discover the optimum number that can be successfully managed? If there are too many balls, they all fall. If there are too few, not much gets done. The principles of juggling seem to help. Develop a stable, reliable process for handling one project or item and then apply that process to other projects…

Develop a rhythm, an inner sense of how much time it takes to keep a project from falling to the floor. Handle projects lightly but firmly and with a familiar repetition.

Now I don’t know about you, but this sounds a lot like homeschooling. It also sounds very similar to advice I have given about developing a side income while homeschooling as well as advice I have received about the real schedules of real homeschooling families and how they make it all work.

If you’re a homeschooling mom, you’re a manager. And if you have any interest in juggling well, you ought to read this book.

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Homeschoolers and the Burden of Proof

I was at a grocery store today. It wasn’t an accident that I went to this specific store on this specific day. I was there for a reason. I was there to buy coconut milk, which had been advertised at what I thought was a very attractive price.

I picked up, amongst other things, a sizeable amount of it and made my way to the cash register, where I noticed I was not getting the advertised price.

I mentioned that to the cashier.

No, the cashier says, that’s the price.

That’s not what was advertised, I insisted.

Maybe that’s a different brand, she argued. This one’s price is right here on the screen. I just scanned it.

At that moment, pinned down with all my other groceries and my three children (because let’s face it, they’re almost always with me) I chose to return said coconut milk because it wasn’t at the price I had assumed I would pay for it. I paid for the rest of the groceries and left. (I make no excuse for my frugality. My husband works incredibly hard for the money he makes and I refuse to be frivolous with it.)

Anyway, because I’m obsessive or crazy, I chose to go back through the store to see if I had seen the advertisement incorrectly. As it turned out, I had been right. I had not made a mistake.

This time, as I loaded the cart with the coconut milk again, I took a picture of the advertisement under it and headed back the cash register.

It was only then that the employee decided she would send someone to check the price. After looking at my picture, enlarging it and turning it this way and that. It was only when another employee rushed to save her from herself that she backed off and gave me the discount and couched in an off-hand “Sorry.”

I walked out of the store with a smile. I had won.

Well, yes, I had won. And I felt good about winning. I may have muttered In your face! as I walked out of there.

But as I thought about it, besides the fact that this was just bad customer service, it made me think of how much this small interaction resembled the burden of proof that we, as homeschoolers, face in the world.

It reminded me how homeschoolers are questioned, looked at strangely and asked what it is they do and how they could do it even after it has been proven time and time again that homeschooling works, that non institutional learning yields better results than government schools can ever hope to provide.

As I have written about in my free giveaway essay Nine Questions Every Homeschooler Should Be Able to Answer, most people immediately shift the burden of proof of homeschooling onto the homeschoolers.

Homeschoolers and the Burden of Proof

The evidence that homeschooling works is there, but the picture must be enlarged, we need additional proof and perhaps we need someone to go and check it because, hey, perhaps it’s still not true.

But the system says, they cry, the system says. What the system says must be true after all! 

Sure, you’re homeschooling them, they say. Let’s see if they can keep up with their grade levels. Okay, you’re homeschooling, they say. Can we test them each year to see if they’re on par? Or perhaps we can just come and visit and talk to them awhile. See, because the system says all children must learn multiplication at this grade and algebra at this. The system, the system! 

What is it about the system that guarantees such adherence, such unquestioning obedience? The system is a liar; as in the grocery store, the system could have very well said something else had it been updated.

What most people forget is that the system was made for convenience. The system was put together so that workers could be churned out for industrial jobs. The system is defunct.

Homeschoolers and the Burden of Proof

The system was made for people, not people for the system. Homeschoolers see that. And even with the burden of proof on us, we are beating it.

Keep at it, homeschoolers. Even when your friends roll their eyes at you. Even when your extended family does not understand. You’re winning. You have the proof. Don’t bow to a failed system.

You’re winning. The facts are on your side.

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